Sunday, June 24, 2012

Unsure.

Starting at birth, Noah was a very needy baby. Screaming, crying, never satisfied, night terrors. I would be up with him every hour and a half around the clock (true) for the first three and a half years of his life. We had his formula changed and was spending $50+ a week just on the specialty formula and nothing worked. I would take him to the Pediatrician and burst into tears because I wasn't sure what was wrong with my baby. Dr said he would outgrow the night terrors and said many children do not require much sleep...and lucky me, he's one of those children. Even though we had those issues, he was a very sweet and loving baby.

Fast forward to three and a half  and he was finally starting to sleep through the night, and the night terrors stopped. He was and is (now at age 6) still the sweet boy that loves hugs and kisses and always aims to please. Noah is very good with others and always protects his toys like they're alive. He picks up after himself and puts his clothes in the laundry room before his bath. He builds forts, loves animals, the outdoors, dressing in costume, and has an amazing imagination. However, he still cries, pitches fits, and is still never satisfied. I'm a stay at home mom who does everything in her power to make sure her family is happy. I've done crafts with Noah since he was old enough to hold a crayon, I've made forts, volcanoes, ornaments, puppets, rockets, etc...I am a very hands on mom. I do everything in my power to make sure my children are happy. I always seem to fail. Even though Noah is very loving and sweet his fits are driving us up the wall. He has meltdowns that are down right ridiculous considering his age. And usually it's over nothing. For example, if he's playing angry birds and can't beat a level he freaks out. He no longer does crafts as much as he use to but I chalk that up to him being a boy and glitter just isn't a boy thing, ya know? I have talked with his doctor, once again, about this. Dr asked me if he does it around grandparents, friends, at school, or in public. The answer is no. Dr says it's our fault (not in those words, of course) because we don't use consistent discipline and we let him have total control, whether we realize it or not. And he's right. If I know Noah is about to pitch a fit over a decision we make, then I go ahead and let him have his way so he doesn't throw a fit. My fault. We've tried time outs, taking toys/games away, spanking his bottom, etc...nothing works. I admit we aren't as consistent as we should be - but it's hard. I don't like hurting my child's feelings or his bottom. I also know that it's only going to hurt him if we don't discipline him.

I don't know what to do. Now that school is out it's beginning to be very hard on me. Caleb works long and strange hours and I'm here alone with them and normally we have nothing to do. It's interrupting Toby's schedule and becoming hard on him as well. He's a very laid back baby that plays on his own, always happy, and he is very go with the flow. I'm afraid he is going to start learning some tricks from his brother, but we're praying he doesn't. Noah was doing so well while school was in session. He was on a schedule and that is exactly what helps him. Why do we have summer break again? ugh! I looked into summer camps and for Noah alone it's $100+ a week and we can't afford that.

I love my son with my whole heart and he's our whole world. We always want to take him places, have fun with him, and we seem to always fail. I'm constantly praying that things will improve and the horrible crying fits will just go away. All we can do is love him through it.

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